In the Shadow of Giants
by Firestorm Runner
Summary: Nearly a year after that successful November night, Connor and Markus find themselves at a celebration commemorating the androids of the revolution. But with those days at the forefront of everyone's minds again, there are some lingering shadows from the past casting doubts on the future ahead. My piece for Trust: A Conkus Fanzine.


**Hello! Like the summary said, this is just my work from the fanzine, hopefully properly addressing some of the things left up in the air after the game.**

**The zine turned out great and I had a blast working on this back in November, so I hope you enjoy!**

**~Stormy**

* * *

"The night of November 11th, 2038, was a cold and dark one for humans and androids alike."

Markus's voice rang like a bell through the chilly autumn air. He stood behind a small podium atop a platform addressing the crowd of humans and androids gathered in the small square. "It is a night I am sure not many of us would like to remember, but one we should never forget."

The mid-afternoon sun shone down on all of them, attempting to break the chill with its rays. The whole square looked pretty between the sunlight and the changing leaves on the trees, but most everyone was watching Markus with thinly veiled awe, Connor noted. Not that he could blame them. Markus had always been charismatic, and the assurance with which he carried himself and spoke with was nothing short of inspiring.

No one needed to know how long he worked on and fretted about the speech beforehand, even with how short and to the point it was. It had been endearing honestly, just how much work and care Markus put into saying the right thing at the right time.

"And forget we shall not," Markus continued, "We lost many brothers and sisters in arms that night. It was a night of bloodshed neither of us look kindly on, but it was a turning point. It was a turning point in history, a turning point in the rights for my people, and a turning point in the relationship between humans and androids. And now, that turning point has come to a new front," he said and motioned towards the statue behind him.

A brilliant bronze statue commemorating the many androids who lost their lives in the Battle for Detroit and the events leading up to it stood behind him. An intense labor of love by Markus and the androids of Jericho to get some acknowledgement of those lost in the atrocities committed against them.

"This is not an acceptance or atonement for what has been done. But it will serve as a reminder for where we were and a memorial for those we lost," he said, clearly moving into the closing remarks of his short speech, "And it will serve as a starting point for our future. A promise, that humans and androids can and will come together and work towards a joint future where we can all benefit."

Markus waited for the cheering and clapping to die down before making his final thanks. Connor smiled, he looked pleased…relieved even to have such a response. He had watched Markus work tirelessly to get this statue approved, and then made, and then fashioned in one of the most prominent parts of Detroit. It had been a labor of love, and it was nice to see Markus reveling in that ultimate, well-deserved success.

"I would like to offer my thanks to the artists of this wonderful sculpture," Markus said, motioning towards a few humans and androids who had worked together to make the statue, "As well as the city of Detroit for allowing this statue be put up and for allowing me to speak at its commemoration." He let the applause swell and dying away once more before concluding with a chuckle, "And of course, if you would like to celebrate with the androids of Jericho…we will be down the street at the local bar."

A few laughs and one more short round of applause broke the air as Markus, as well as a few of Detroit's higher officials, filed off the platform. With that being done, people started clearing out of the area to go about their lives. Yet, Connor lingered by the statue as the others filed out, squinting against the sun as he traced the outline of the large, bronze figures. He had seen the plans for it from the start, but standing in front of it in person was much different. He had been more interested in Markus's closing remarks on the ceremony, but now he had the opportunity to really study it.

There were a number of android models represented in the memorial, but his attention remained focused on one: the PL-600. The one who looked like Simon, but whom he had first met as Daniel. The one where it had really all began for him.

His eyes moved to an HK400, an unnamed android driven to the brink in an unforgiving room, and then to the WB200. Rupert, the one who escaped when he chose to save Hank…his friend…over the mission. Some of the WR400s stood there as well. One of them resembled North, with all of her fiery determination, but the one who struck him was the Traci. He so clearly remembered the two standing in front of him, holding hands and waiting for him to pull the trigger as they spoke of their love.

He didn't understand it then, but he still felt the need to let them go. Something, something he now recognized as his growing deviancy, urged him to let them be free even though he didn't understand the emotions they were feeling or the emotions he was feeling or the whole idea of deviancy. And now…

And now he did. He understood it all, the deviancy, the empathy, the _love_.

A few other models were represented there too, an AX400 with Kara's kindly face, a PJ500 who reminded him of Josh's peaceful presence, an RT600 who reminded him all too much of Chloe staring up at him expectantly from her knelt position on the ground. All of them stood together, hand in hand, ready and waiting to face whatever onslaught was coming their way. Not unlike the night of the revolution's final stand, when he returned from CyberLife HQ with an army at his back to find Markus standing in front of the remainder of his people _singing_ as if his life depended on it.

It did, and yet even in the face of such adversity, Markus took it on with such a graceful confidence. Even in such a dire moment, it was beautiful and so wonderfully, brilliantly Markus. The memorial itself didn't hold quite as much resonance, but that it reminded him of that night, as it probably did many others, meant that it was powerful. Yet, even among the faces represented in the statue, a prominent few were missing.

Markus had said he didn't want to detract from the memorial itself. He would be remembered in history well enough, this was for the others who wouldn't. It was honorable of him, and Connor realized it didn't necessarily matter. Everything Markus was, everything he had stood for and helped them gain, resonated within the bronze casting of his people; his own words, "We are alive," which had become a slogan for the revolution, engraved on the base of the statue.

As for Connor, well…as he stood staring at the statue of all of them hand in hand and who each representation reminded him of, he was also reminded of why he didn't want to be a part of it. It felt wrong to place the proclaimed "Deviant Hunter" up there with the rest of them, even if he had become deviant himself. It had been late, and even if he had helped in the end, there was a lot he had done leading up to his deviancy that detracted from the very mission they held. To place him up there with the very people he was tasked with hunting when he was but a machine didn't feel proper.

And it also didn't matter. For better or for worse, he knew history would remember him too.

"Connor?" Markus's voice rang clear and close over the bustle of everyone else, pulling him from his thoughts. He turned to look back at the other android, drawing a sigh from Markus. "Connor…come on, everyone is going out to celebrate," Markus tried again.

Connor forced a smile and nodded towards the party, "You go ahead. I'll…catch up with you in a few minutes," he said, hands still tracing over the inscribed letters on the plaque, "It wouldn't quite be the same without you, after all."

Markus let out another sigh. He watched Connor for a moment before glancing back at the small gathering behind him. The decision was easy. Quietly, he walked over to the statue and stood in front of it, admiring it in the silence. "They did a nice job on it," he decided finally, breaking the comfortable silence with his approval, "Even North liked it."

"Yes, they did," Connor agreed, and his smile became a little less forced, "Given how long it took them, I should hope they produced a masterpiece."

"Change is a slow process," Markus said, letting a small smile of his own slip, "Winning the revolution was only half the battle, we knew this. That the humans made and put this up in the heart of Detroit is a promising step." His comment hung in the air, and when Connor said nothing in response, Markus spared him a glance. He was still staring at the memorial, but the look on his face was far away. It took all of his restraint not to reach out to the detective, fearing it would overstep some yet to be established boundaries.

"Now," he said instead, "Would you care to tell me what is _really_ on your mind?"

Connor frowned, slightly annoyed he was so easy to read. Nearly a year later and nothing seemed to change, he was either way too easy to read or hardly expressing any emotion at all, and it always caused trouble. Or, he should say, it always caused Markus to ask him what was going on, and they inevitably talked it out. And…it usually caused far less trouble than he was initially anticipating.

"It is…_difficult_…to forget them," Connor finally answered, eyes drawn back to the bronze figures towering over them.

"Well," Markus smiled, "That _is_ the point of a memorial." His attempt at a joke fell short when Connor frowned again and shook his head.

"No, that isn't—" he trailed off as he fumbled for an explanation. Instead of the proper words, the sound of Carlos Ortiz's android banging his head off of the table in an attempt to self-destruct echoed in his mind. The sound of Rupert's footsteps on concrete as he ran away in fear, the sound of terror and rage in Traci's voice as she pleaded for the one she loved, the sound of the gunshot that deactivated Daniel, the feel of the gun in his hand as he pointed it at Markus…_his_ Markus—"I can't…I can't forget what I did to them. What I did to _all_ of you."

_Oh_. It was Markus's turn to frown as he practically watched the other android deflate in front of him, brown eyes flickering between him and the statue, dulling as each thought started consuming him. "Connor," he said softly, and this time did reach out for him. Just a few fingers brushing against Connor's hand and, when he didn't pull away, he gently grabbed his hand. No interfacing, just the feel of the pressure of fingers intertwining with fingers and palm pressed against palm.

"No one blames you for that, and if anyone has said something, let me know," Markus continued, feeling a defensive edge flare at the thought, "But we all remember what it was like. Deviating itself is no small task."

"No one has said anything," Connor said, squeezing Markus's hand and taking as much reassurance in it as he was trying to give, "No one blames me, but I do. _I_ blame me." He looked down at their joined hands and then up at the memorial one more time before meeting Markus's eyes. "There were a number of times I can logically think of for when I could have broken my programming before I confronted you in Jericho. Why did I wait until the last possible moment…?"

Markus shook his head. "You can be your own worst critic, you know that?" he asked rhetorically and shifted, reaching out and grabbing Connor's other hand as well. "None of us really understand how deviancy works…but it seemed to be different for all of us. The only common thread was the emotional shock. So maybe yours built up over time instead of being more immediate," Markus shrugged, "There is nothing wrong with that."

"No, I suppose not," Connor agreed with a sigh. "Still though…after everything I did…I guess I cannot fathom how anyone could forgive me. Especially you, and especially to such a degree," he said and lightly lifted their interlocked hands, "How many died while I was on their side? How many died _because_ I was on their side?"

The longer the silence reigned, the longer he took to study Connor. And the longer he took to study, the more Markus could feel his heart breaking. This was not a concern that had ever come up before. He could hardly recall any glimpses of his discomfort, save for in the very beginning when their losses were brought up. But that was to be expected, it made them all uncomfortable. Time maybe wouldn't heal all wounds…but he had hoped it would make it more bearable for all of them. Apparently he was wrong.

"And how many did you free in return?" Markus asked in response, "How many did you free from the CyberLife Tower when you came and solidified our victory? How many were with _you_, specifically, when you made sure I and the other members of Jericho would survive?" A year had passed but he could still see it as if it had happened just seconds ago. A sea of their own people coming to help them with Connor at the head of the charge like the natural leader he was. It was a sight to reckon, and one of Markus's favorite memories. Even in the midst of chaos, hope would still come even from the most unlikely source.

It didn't take him long to realize Connor wasn't _that_ unlikely of a source.

Markus shook his head, though a small smile remained from the remnants of the memory. "What I am attempting to say is that you have done a remarkable amount of _good_ since then too. You have helped in the transition process immensely. You have been there for me personally every step of the way. Even your track record leading up to your deviancy shows you were never truly evil. You told me you let Rupert go to save Hank. You allowed the Tracis to live. You didn't shoot me," he chuckled. Gently, he detangled one of his hands from Connor and brought it up to the other android's face. He hesitated a moment before lightly resting it against Connor's cheek, "Please, don't let 'what if's' ruin you. You are too beautiful for that."

Connor smiled in return, looking down in surprise and a dash of embarrassment at the affection. After a moment of consideration, he nodded in agreement, "Perhaps." And Markus's words _were_ a help. They always were, he held the eloquence and charm to always be a help. But still the nagging feeling persisted. "That does not always help with the regret though," he admitted, "Nor the wondering of how you could still…accept me as you do."

Markus let out a small chuckle under his breath and sadness started tinging his smile. "I find myself asking that about you some nights," he admitted. He waited until Connor looked back at him, brown eyes burning with confusion and disbelief, before he explained, "I was their leader after all. How many died under my watch…following _my_ command and ideology?"

The silence stretched on for miles, heavy under the weight of a nebulous number that seemed intent on crushing them both.

"Markus, no one thinks that," Connor said finally, unsure of what else he could say. "They…_we_…knew the risks," he added, "We knew the risks and decided the ultimate goal outweighed those risks."

"I know," he said, "And most nights, neither do I. But as you said, that does not always help with the regret. Given everything that happened…and everything that has happened since, I believe we all carry regret." He paused, intense gaze making sure he had Connor's full attention before continuing, "But if there is one thing I will never regret, and I need you to _know_ I will never regret, is falling in love with you." The skin on the hand resting against Connor's face started disappearing, melting away to reveal the smooth plastic underneath. "May I show you something?"

Connor blinked and then nodded, understanding the implication. The skin on his cheek also disappeared to allow for the connection Markus was asking for. He involuntarily gasped as the memories started flooding his mind, along with the incredibly fond _warmth_ that came with them. And he recognized them, pieces and snapshots of the life he and Markus had shared since the end of the revolution and the transition into peacekeeping and policy making. Little moments, personal and meaningful moments to Markus…some of which he had barely even registered as noteworthy acts.

Little things before they had even started dating flitted through his mind. Every time he stayed by Markus's side during the endless nights of work of speeches and negotiations and reviewing and revising legislation. Every time he helped Markus by doing other chores or offering suggestions or convincing him to just take a break for a while. Their first date, when Markus took him to the park and wrapped an arm around his waist as they walked and he truly appreciated the scenery for the first time. The many, _many_ dates that followed. The number of times Markus had walked into the precinct to find him hard at work on a case, or to find him joking around with Hank. Every moment Markus had seen with him and Hank and Sumo. Their first 'I love yous' and soon after their first interface. A single statement a paint-coated Markus declared after showing him a portrait of himself. It had been so simple, and yet it didn't lack in power nor truth.

And there was more, so much _more_. The amount of memories flooding Connor was nearly overwhelming. The warmth and love and adoration flowing in waves _was_ overwhelming and he pulled away from Markus, amazed and smiling.

"I love you," Markus said again, content smile on his face as his arm dropped back down to his side. He opened his eyes and watched Connor for a moment, pleased to see him smiling back. At least that risk paid off. "I never want that to be in doubt," he continued, "No matter what, because of _and_ in spite of everything, I love you. I always will."

Connor's smile widened and he glanced down at his hands. It wasn't as if he ever doubted Markus, per se. He knew that Markus loved him and he loved Markus in return, but some days it just became too much. The thoughts were too loud and past injustices screamed to be remembered. It wasn't as if he ever disbelieved Markus, but some days he still had to wonder. His reassurance now though meant a lot. It was enough to quiet those thoughts and it was nice to be reminded just how deep Markus's feelings ran.

"I know. I love you too," Connor responded, still studying his hands. Markus had been open with him in many ways just now, he wanted to return the favor. He watched the synthetic skin pull back on his hand and looked to Markus, "May _I_ show _you_ something?"

Markus laughed and nodded, fairly positive he knew what was coming. "Of course," he agreed and reached his hand out towards Connor.

Connor grabbed his outstretched hand and placed his other one against Markus's neck. After a moment, his memories started moving through their connection and he chuckled at the quiet, surprised gasp Markus let out. He always had more trouble knocking Markus off his guard than the other way around, so Connor enjoyed every opportunity he had.

Meanwhile, memories flooded Markus's mind. Little things from before they were even dating flashed before his eyes. Every time he had visited Connor at the station and suggested help and approaches for cases, human and android cases alike. Every time he walked home with Connor afterwards and every time he assisted him with chores and other tasks after a late night at the station. Their first date, when Connor knew he was watching him, even though Markus thought he was being sly, and just how happy it had made him. And every date thereafter. The number of times Connor had walked into his room to find him hard at work writing and revising legislation or just chatting with North or Simon or Josh. Every moment Connor had seen him with Carl and every time he never knew Connor sat there and simply watched him paint for hours on end. Their first 'I love yous' and soon after their first interface. It was an accidental slip he hadn't meant while he watched Connor marvel at a painting of himself, and yet it felt just perfect to Connor anyways.

And more, there was so much more. The amount of memories was nearly unfathomable, and yet the amount of warmth and love and adoration that accompanied them was as comforting as it was amazing.

Markus knew, of course, that Connor loved him just as much as he loved Connor. It was never really in question, but the reassurance was nice. It was enough to further quiet thoughts and regrets that seemed to find their way into his mind when things were too quiet or he was too alone. It helped soothe old wounds that time hadn't quite gotten to yet.

"I love you too," Connor said finally, "And I never want that to be in doubt either."

Instead of saying anything, Markus left the connection open and pulled Connor closer to him, wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling into him. Connor returned the hug, wrapping his arms around Markus and leaning against him.

They stood there in the shadow of the memorial, content to just be in each other's presence. It wasn't going to be the last time these issues would come up, they both knew that. They both had said that, regret was a difficult thing. But it was the start of being open and discussing them. They had the time, and they had the added reassurance that the other would be there to help and listen, no matter what.

And for now, that was more than enough.


End file.
